You just made me feel so damn special
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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