Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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