We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
