im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
