ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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