Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
