it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
how drunk are you?
Several
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
