So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize