when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
