It's Friday. Sex?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
