Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
