he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
