Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm too high and old for this...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
