toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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