after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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