You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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