its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My ass is underappreciated
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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