I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
