Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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