i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
