It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
