hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
