you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
