therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
