We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
soo... how was my night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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