Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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