I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
