So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
