I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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