I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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