yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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