I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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