Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
birth control should be required to get into college
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize