I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
