that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
