I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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