there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
