Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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