I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
