saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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