why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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