all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
