I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
