Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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