you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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