I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize