Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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