one might say we're banned from that church
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
