Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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