So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
