everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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