He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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