you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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