i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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