I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sext me about skeletons
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
