If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
